


I Keep Running Away

by PsychoStar



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Adult Content, Angst, Betrayal, M/M, Separations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-17
Updated: 2012-04-17
Packaged: 2017-11-03 20:05:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/385412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoStar/pseuds/PsychoStar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam has been in a sufocatin relationship for a year now. He needs to get away. </p>
<p>Based on Chockehold! Such a beautiful song!</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Keep Running Away

It was for the third time he was packing his bags. How on earth did he get to be such a mess? Why didn’t he just end it the first time? Why was he putting his heard through such pain? He let himself be seduced every single time, be manipulated with false promises and false apologies. Everything between them was fake, except for Adam’s belief that things will change.

 

***

 

His name was Jade and they had been together for almost a year now. He saw the perfect man in Jade, he fell for him the second their lips touched and after that Jade became the center of the universe for Adam. He was a professional photographer they actually met on the set for a photo shooting. They moved together about two months after they met and that’s when all the problems started, but Adam forgave everything and when he didn’t want to forgive something, like Jade never showing up when they go out for lunch or staying out until early in the morning, Jade would just turn it around and blame it on Adam, making him feel bad about it and then Jade would just pretend to be the one angry at Adam. He would go sleep on the couch, always saying the same thing; “I knew it would never work with a rock star.” Leaving Adam alone in bed crying and regretting ever bringing up the subject or blaming himself for being too stupid or selfish.

 

The first time Adam wanted to leave him was because Jade came home drunk as hell, his clothes were ruffled, he smelled like a club bathroom and refused to tell Adam what had happened. But when Jade woke up the next morning and saw Adam’s made bags and just a few clothes set up on the bed, he knew it was serious. He heard the shower running so he went into the bathroom and saw Adam taking a shower; well he was actually just standing under the water spray. Jade gently walked in and opened the shower door.

 

When Adam saw him he wanted to scream and push him out or punch the bastard in the face, but then Jade dropped to his knees and bowed his head down. Adam doesn’t quite remember what Jade had promised or told him under that suffocating hot spray of water, be only remembers the soft touched and kisses, the slow and hot blowjob, the way Jade thought wanted to make it all better just by sucking his cock.

 

The third time he was on tour, so there were no bags to pack, but when he saw the pictures from Jade’s last photo shooting he sent Jade a message that he couldn’t take it anymore and it was over. He ignored any other calls from him for almost a week. Adam couldn’t compose himself, he never felt so lost and disoriented, he could still feel Jade’s presence lingering everywhere, every face in the audience, in every scent of cigarette smoke, in the wooden musky perfume on his clothes. It was haunting him. He could barely concentrate on the concert, he forgot song lyrics, and he started crying in the middle of a song, he was a total mess.

 

When he came back from the concert, though, he went directly for his hotel room, ignoring invitations to go out with his friend. He just heeded to hear a false promise again, to feel that hope again and he wasn’t getting it. He ran into the room and locked the door behind him.

 

“Hey baby.” He gasped as he heard that voice again and felt himself go down that dangerous spiral again, back into the suffocating pain. He turned around to see him, his tears was running freely, Jade came over and gave him a big, warm hug, the scent of cigarettes enveloping him again, hurting him but making him feel whole again.

 

“I’m sorry.” Jade said as always, he whipped away the tears from Adam’s eyes and kissed him. Adam dived right into the kiss, he needed to feel this pain in order to feel complete. “I didn’t think it would affect you this much, I promise to never do it again.” Jade said and held Adam even tighter. How could he not know that it would affect Adam.” He took nude photos of guys for a porn magazine. He had no fucking business being alone in a room with other naked men when he had a boyfriend. Furthermore, he never even told Adam about it, he had to find out via internet. But all those angry thought, pain and suffering was pushed away deep into his subconscious where it would eat away at him forever as Jade laid him down on the bed and started kissing him and worshiping his body. As Jade was pushing into him and kissing him Adam’s tears roamed freely and Jade saw them, but he choose to ignore them like all of Adam’s feelings.  

 

He was lying in bed, the lights where off, only the lights from the streets were illuminating the room, he was crying, he didn’t quite know why, maybe because that he finally realized that the feelings and love were no longer there or because he just couldn’t care anymore, that it had gotten to this point where he realized the huge lie he’s been living. This time was no more going back, there was nothing he could say that Adam would believe him or even listen to him. Yesterday Jade had told him he was going for the weekend to a sky resort to take some pictures for a magazine and a few hours ago he was bombarded with photos on twitter with Jade and two other guys in a Jacuzzi, making out and probably more, Adam couldn’t look. He got out of bed, got his bags and walked out of Jade’s apartment, as soon as he was out of the building he threw they key as far away as he could and got into his car, there was no more going back, the chains where finally broken.

 

He drove off into the night leaving all the self-caused pain behind. He had no idea where he was going, he just turned street after street, just to get as far away as possible. He finally pulled into a parking lot of a gay bar, he looked into the mirror of his car; his eyes were wet and his hair spiraled all over the place, but he couldn’t care less. He got out, feeling freer than ever and walked inside. The music was good and the people were really friendly. He danced a bit then ordered a drink and sat at a table. After quite a few drinks he spotted a cute little boy dancing by himself on the floor, he immediately got off the chair and went to join him, crawling up behind him, startling him a little.

 

“I’m sorry.” Adam whispered into his ear. The stranger started dancing again, rubbing his ass against Adam’s groin, letting out a giggle.  

 

“I’m Adam.” He said placing his hands of the strangers hips, slowing down a bit.

 

“I’m Sauli.” The little blond said.

 

“Sowli? That’s quite a strange name.” Adam said and turned the stranger around, then as soon as theirs eyes met everything around them disappeared and it was just them. Adam couldn’t believe how beautiful this person looked, such a simple, natural beauty.

 

“Yes, I am from Finland, I just moved here.” Sauli said after he broke out of the trance. They stood again in silence as time seemed to stop and then leaned in for a kiss. No words of promises or explanations, just true emotions.

**Author's Note:**

> I just felt an unbelievable urge to write this! I hope it was worth it. My opinion it kind of sucks. :|


End file.
